It’s the most wonderful time of the year: despite the undeniable dreariness of the cooling weather and dying foliage, the final few months of the year bring along the promise of the joys of the holiday season.

No matter what’s being celebrated, the holidays are a time to spend quality time with family and express gratitude for loved ones. However, the average family reunion notoriously consists of uncles reciting monologues from their political Facebook groups, aunts performing interrogations on unsuspecting nieces, and brigades of cousins embarking on world tours of their grandmothers’ retirement friendly neighborhoods. Though a family function can easily seem impossible to tolerate, there’s numerous fool proof strategies to make the most of a particularly heinous holiday celebration.

For one, identify safe spaces early. For people more inclined to tolerate shenanigans from unruly relatives, the living room is usually a safe bet. However, for those with a significantly smaller social battery, it’s usually beneficial to find a calm room of some sort to decompress in as the night progresses. While it’s incredibly important to take advantage of time with loved ones over the holidays, there’s nothing wrong with needing a break. Plus, if all else fails, everyone’s Gen Z relatives probably have the same idea. If finding a quality hiding spot proves to be difficult, it’s basically guaranteed that there’s a whole community of cousins seeking refuge in a laundry room somewhere. Act accordingly.

Secondly, no matter how tempting it may be, avoid fueling any arguments. While, yes, it’s pretty much the pinnacle of comedy to watch fully grown adults hurl insults at each other, the point of the holidays is to serve as a reminder of the gift of family, not to create unnecessary tension. It’s inevitable that at least one relative is going to be dead set on pushing someone over the edge with invasive questions and comparisons to their cousins, but it’s best to ignore any instigation. Choose peace, no matter how many times someone on Tiktok begs for a livestream of a great family smackdown.

Finally, play up the pleasantries. While it’s tempting to go into a family event expecting the worst, everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Setting aside saltiness lingering from the snide comments and drama of years past is the key to maximizing any social gathering. As tempting as it may be to hold a grudge, taking the high road will never not be beneficial. After all, it’s the season of forgiveness.

At the end of the day, no matter how trivial a family gathering can feel, the holidays are about more than being at odds with relatives. The privilege of spending valuable time with family is incredibly easy to take advantage of. Even if they go about it questionably, these are ultimately the people in the world who love you the most. So choose kindness, protect your peace, and don’t let petty disagreements blind you from the real meaning of the holiday season.